Forgiveness...

                                                      Forgiveness...

Let forgive others just for the sake of your Assuredness...

Forgiveness in literal meaning is the act of excusing a mistake or offense. We all are human beings and I think all of us are get offended or wronged by someone. Many in our lives hurt us so badly that whenever we try to move on in our lives the grudge on them or the Slash given by them will never allow us to move on because we don’t want to forget them just by forgiving them instead we love to give them the unwanted importance in our lives by hating and remembering them.

I read somewhere: “Don’t give unwanted importance to people in your life by hating them rather make them embarrassed just by forgiving them”

Forgiving others is the best trait in a person ever because only a few of us have the temperament to forgive others. Many of us like to keep grudges and animosity and for them, it is the best hobby and in their grudge, they hurt many others without any reason. They are not only hurting themselves but in fact, they are injuring others just in their feeling of taking revenge.

Don’t you think childhood time is the best time ever when you even don’t know the meaning of Revenge...? Only a little sorry heals all your wounds and you feel calm. When a simple handshake or hug resolves all the misunderstandings. When you don’t know how to keep a grudge and also the meaning of animosity. As we grow some people come into our life they tell us the meaning of all these words, they love to take part in cheap politics at all levels. These fake people will annoy us so badly that we don’t want to forgive them. 

The worst reality of today is that people are less faithful and very good actors...

Our prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) is the best example of a forgiver. He forgives all his enemies even the killer of His Daughter and His uncle... At the time of the conquest of Makah He (S.A.W) announced that they all are forgiven and free to live their lives. When the people of Taif throw stones at Him and make him bleed at that time Our Prophet didn’t execrate instead He (S.A.W.) prayed for their betterment. When Gabriel wanted permission to curse them He (S.A.W) refused him by saying that He (S.A.W) forgave them.

In Quran It is said:  

                                    “Don’t consider someone bad because you don’t know the condition of their heart maybe he is not like that what you are thinking about him Only ALLAH (S.W.T) has the Real knowledge you are incognizant”.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean just to say by words that I forgive you but it is the best meal of your soul to be calm. When someone you love or care about Hurt you let them be by forgiving him And forgiveness will be proved to be the best punishment ever coz it feels him embarrassed that he didn’t do right with you.

I know it’s easy to say or advice that forgives others but hard to forget all the wrong persons of your life. But we need to forget them and forgive them.

It’s only possible when you start considering yourself to be zero as when you born you were zero and when you die you will be zero and have nothing, if you consider yourself to be zero it’ll clear all grudges because no one’s talk will affect you so badly that you have to keep a grudge. No one will have the capability to hurt you then. Everything in your life follows the give and take rule. If you want love than love others, If you want respect then respect others And if you want forgiveness then firstly forgive others for all their wrong deeds and let them live their lives and also enjoy your own life, Nothing would be able to mend the past So don’t be a fool just by clutching the past not letting it go. It will not harm anyone else than you. You’ll be responsible for your obliteration. 

Don’t tangle yourself in the deeds of others just prove to them that it doesn’t matter for you at all. Prove them wrong who thinks that they have the complete right to spoil your life by hurting you, getting you engaged in these bullshits, diverting your focus from your future.

 So my dear let them go by saying that they don’t have the right to devastate your life with their bad memories. You don’t care what they did and what they are going to do. Don’t be a part of this cheap politics. 

Clear your heart mind and soul. Forgive them to move on as your LORD loves your quality of forgiveness.

Joint Family system is a mess....

                    The joint Family system is a mess...

I often listen that a joint family system is best for the mental and emotional training of kids.

 It provides a healthy environment to live in. It provides the kid allot of relations to enjoy. It taught them how to respect others. Kids get training that how to live with their relatives and others. They are going to face a lot of issues there. But Rather than this many of us want to be live in a joint family even knowing about the issues and crises that someone would face in these systems.

To be very honest I observed a joint family system at the closest range and believe it’s nothing else than the biggest mess of your life. In joint families, you don’t have the right to live your life instead you are taught how to please your relatives. It doesn’t matter what you did or what you are going to do and what you have done just to please them. Such relatives believe that it’s their biggest and important precedence to make you feel unimportant and worthless. They think that you are their slave and you will follow everything that they said to you and also you don’t have the right to go against them just because they have the complete right on you.

They will never be happy from your side if you are sweet to them they will bless you with thousands of bestowals by giving such names like a clever, cunning, opportunist and after that, you don’t want to be sweet with others. On the other hand, if you want to be straight forward with them they will give you the title of overbold, sassy, and impudent. They think that you don’t have your self-esteem.

Rather of this...

There is a lot of crisis and quarrels between the members living in that family in our terms it is called as شریکا.  I don’t understand who are these people who make your life tough by saying when our child didn’t get this then why yours... when I don’t go there then you also don’t have to go...

Among these entire crises, the biggest and the worst contretemps is all about the property they own. Even they have a lot of things but they still said that why he had this when I don’t have.

These clashes ... these conflicts ... vitiate the equanimity of your life.

 You get so tensed in such situations that you forget how to live your own life...The worst trauma of a kid’s life is when these crises separate them from all other relations with whom he was living from the start.

I am not saying that every relative is of the same kind some of them love us unconditionally but some of them Aberrant us so badly that we even don’t want to trust others.

Such relations became the ulcer of our life that we are not able to cut them off from our lives because they mean something for us but in contrast, we are also not able to live with them because they are continuously giving us the pain by their words by their behavior and we can’t tolerate them and that is the limit of our patience when we decided to be separated.  They think that we are happy with it but we don’t coz we spend many important years of our life with them.

Many people think that a separate house is the best solution to be calm why don’t they think that the walls of their previous house were not hurting them but their relatives did. And by changing the house you don’t change your relatives.

I think it’s better to be separated from these systems in starting as it may save us from the real hardships and trials of our life by giving us the right to live our own life.

 Sometimes I think that what will happen if  I get the chance to choose my relations, family but then I think how could I???? I am still not able to judge people and when I choose someone and he’ll prove himself the worst partner for me then what will I do?? it means that I am ruining my life by my own hands then I started to trust on the creator again who choose them for me... and started again with the hope that they will not do anything again..

But seriously joint families are nothing else than the biggest mess and they prove it...

Self Respect or self esteem ...

                          Self Respect or Self-esteem...

You can't force someone to respect you, 
                                                                 But 
                                                                           you can refuse to be disrespected.....

Self Respect is holding yourself in esteem and believing that you are good and worthy of being treated well... it's a feeling of confidence and pride in your own ability and worth... 

 It's the sense of one's own dignity and worth... But it's totally different from ego.

 Ego means to get attached to some wrong name or image. It's the attachment to everything that can be acquired, that can be achieved. The ego will be hurt very easily and mostly it is the basic cause of the different types of clashes.

 On the contrary, Self-esteem is different it's like to recognize your own self your own being... feel your worth, don't be disrespected from others.

 It's all about to think about what you are and what you will be, to think that it doesn't matter that you are not perfect but you'll be supposed to be the best version of yourself. It doesn't matter what others think about you rather it matter how much effort you are putting to give your best... To think that you might not be perfect yet, but you are right whatever you are, give respect to what you are, grateful for what you have, and gradually moving towards perfection day by day, this is self-esteem and this is the thing you must have... 

  You never get hurt when you realized that your own being matters to you a lot not the opinions of others when you really start respecting your self.

when someone thinks that you are the option for them, not the one and only choice then help them to choose the best for them just by removing yourself from their equation. Don't think that what you did for them and how much they mean to you rather think that might be you are nothing to them but an option... it's not pride, it's even not ego, but it's your self-respect which makes you worthy in front of your own self. 

Don't expect any positive change in your life when you don't know how to make yourself happy, How to reduce your negativeness, how to increase your own value, How to respect your self ... when you have low self-esteem then you must agnize that you have nothing, you'll feel insecure, you'll be fear of failures, you'll get depressed and vulnerable to peer pressures.

 On the other hand, high self-esteem will give you the confidence to fight with all your problems not to get depressed instead to face them, you want to try new thing forgetting about the failures and love to take risks... you'll be a goal setter, You'll respect your own self and also others. Always remember never ever lose your self-esteem not get settled with anything less than you deserved. Never get so familiar to your own self when you are alone it will make you arrogant.

 
  Don't give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value never think your self to be meaningless and worthless... 
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”

Equanimity or Tranquility…

                Equanimity or Tranquility… 

Equanimity isn’t just a condition of mind rather it is the basic need of every human in the world and the most precious asset the person ever attained… I often think what calmness is??? How can I achieve the purest form of calmness???

Sometimes I feel helpless in front of the thought that where calmness is???

 We all are seeking calmness in different worldly forms and a few from us will get… Every person in the world thinks that the other one is happy or calm not knowing about their problems, we really don’t think that we are also other for the world…

Rich thinks that the poor are calm and happy because he doesn’t have power or money which is the root of all evils But don’t think that lack of money is supposed to be his biggest problem, on the other hand, the poor think that the rich are happy and calm because he has money or power he can buy happiness and calmness for him but he doesn’t want to think that his money and power is supposed to be his biggest enemy he is fighting with. In reality, no one is happy and calm, neither the rich nor the poor but both think that the other is calm…

 In the Quran, it is quoted that “your children and money is a trial for you “

We all move through some sudden trauma that we lost all our equanimity... Got depressed… couldn’t find solutions to our problems, we become more squiggle, and a stage comes when we become hopeless and all we need is calmness but we didn’t find it anywhere. Every person in the world is struggling hard to find calmness in the world … we get the best solution for it to occupy ourselves in different worldly jobs to forget all the worst times of our lives that never remains calm…

We tried hard to find equanimity firstly in our dear ones in relations but all in vain and we disdain badly, those relations that would supposedly be our greatest strength our calmness rather they proved to be the ulcer of our life. Then we try to seek composure in our friends and we came to know that every person in the world is baffled in their own problems… we want to disappear like complete blackout so that no one would know about us and we think that might be this would make us calm…

 We as humans are the strangest creature of the universe, we never recourse to our creature first instead we used to remember Allah when we get snub, rebuff from the world…

 When we find our self helpless in front of others… and then you know what happens to you Allah Also doesn’t want that you will pray in front of Him. At that time the hardest job is to push your heavy body to prayer mat and prostrate to get a solution to all your problems…

Believe me, you’ll get the best kind of calmness in prayers …

Whenever you get unquiet and queasy just do one thing go to your prayer mat, talk to your lord, share the problem that makes you unquiet and calm less just share it with your lord no matter, how many evildoers you are… after sharing it with your lord just forget about that problem He Has the best plans to solve that issue and you’ll be calm in seconds…

 

 

                                                             

Fear...

                                         Fear…

Fear or fright is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight…

Fear is not a single word rather it contains thousands of feelings in it. All of us are afraid of some kind of fear in our lives. Some are afraid of heights, some are afraid of water, while some are of darkness but among all these, the most horrible fear is of insects like lizards, cockroaches, bees, and some other insects like this …

In our childhood we are spooned with fear more than foodstuff...  whenever we refuse to eat, our mother threatened us to eat it otherwise the monster will come and that was the fear of some spirit that we don’t know how it will come and from where it will come  … when we refuse to study someone affright us of whack that our dad will come and beat us or if we don’t study we’ll never get new things and that was the fear of being hurt… whenever we did any kind of mistake we get frightened that our parents will insult us and that was the fear of being insulted in front of others…  

But Among all these fears the worst two are fear to lose and fear of being lost…

First: fear to lose is the worst fear ever. For in instant just think your loved one or the loveliest thing of your life is going out of your authority but you don’t want to lose it…

Think that someone you love is suffering from some kind of disease… your every footstep towards the hospital looks like someone is snatching your life from you … with every footstep thousands of thoughts roam in your mind like how I’ll live without him, what will be my life without him, I’ll remain incomplete for a lifetime, if he’ll not be with me how I’ll survive, why this happens to him, not to someone else… your heart is praying millions of times OH ALLAH please please don’t take him away, OH ALLAH please Give him the complete health, please my lord don’t do this to me he is so close to me please MY LORD doesn’t… the feeling that we felt at that time is exactly the fear to lose…

Second: Fear of being lost. Have you ever feel that fear that you are losing your identity your life…

Suppose you are in the worst scenario and you have only one option to get rid of it that you have to change yourself completely, you’ll completely lose your identity, and losing identity means losing your life that fear is of being lost… It’s like we are running on unknown track we know about our destiny but the way is so tainted that we have to take another way and we have almost 4 other ways to reach the destination but we don’t know which one will exactly lead us to our destination, we remain standing thinking about the right path but we don’t get it…  that is the fear of being lost…

When we lose clarity about our path our destination or when we get arrogant and proud Then Allah (SWT) ordeal us by blessing us such fears … Fear to lose will end our arrogance just by bringing back our heart to ALLAH And when we lose clarity in our mind, the mirror of our heart or mind is glazed over then Allah ordeal us by the fear of being lost and this will clear our mind, heart, and thoughts…